This is not exactly an oxymoron. But it is a pretty much how
I would describe a condition all of us can suffer from.
I will illustrate. ( I confess that I am severely
directionally challenged.) Recently I found myself confidently and speedily
going in the wrong direction. Of course I did not think I was aimed erroneously
but I was. I knew what road I was on, I was not going the wrong way on the
outer-loop of 485. But while I was completely aware of the facts, I was blind
to the fact that I was getting farther and farther away from my destination.
And the same thing can happen in our lives. In fact in our
areas of expertise or enthusiasm is where we can most often make some of our
greatest mistakes. On the other hand when I am unsure or unfamiliar with
something I am so much more likely to take my time, pay attention to details
and really focus on making sure I get the desired result. But let me operate in
my wheelhouse and I am full speed ahead.
Let me illustrate this. Imagine you are a driving instructor.
And you find yourself in a car with a student and you begin to notice the
student is driving erratically. They are preoccupied with the rearview mirror.
They are speeding, and weaving in and out of traffic… they are breaking every
rule! And so you do what a good driving instructor should do, you stomp on that
“second” brake. You start correcting them on all the things they are doing
wrong. You force them to focus on every technical point and process. You
quickly critique any and everything they do wrong! You are so aware of what
when where and how they should be doing everything! In fact you are at your
best when you are pointing out everyone’s weakness.
But you are blind to the fact that in the back seat of that
car is the driver’s very sick child. You are blind to the fact they are
desperately trying to get to the hospital. You are blind to the panic and pain
that is written all over their face. You are blind to the faint sounds coming
from the child in the rear facing seat who is struggling so hard to breathe
they cannot cry. You are consumed with blind awareness.
How often are we the same way in life, in relationships, in
our career? We think everything is supposed to serve our goals and expectations
instead of the needs of others. We are so busy trying to fix what we think is
wrong that we never notice the desperation in the lives of others.
Life is like a game of charades. Everything we do should be
to convey the message, the message that we love people more than anything else.
If not, we are just going through the motions and sending the
wrong message.
