Someone said perception is reality. I offer you a variation, action is reality. Perception, more often than not, is a delusion.
I heard a guy say that his love for his children was so great that it surpassed everything else in his life. However, there was nothing too small in his professional life that did not outweigh some special event in his family's life. Their special game, their concerts, graduation, even illness. What he was doing was more important.
I've seen events absolutely ruined by someone whose words and emotions were nothing less than toxic waste.
I know this one fellow who is given to self-righteous rants and ramblings in spite of his own less than loving attitudes and thoughts. Ouch!
The observation is this: The ironic thing about selfishness is that for the selfish person every personal inconvenience seems like an extreme sacrifice. In other words if it is in fact your cookie, but I am under the delusion that it is mine, and I am forced to give it to you, as far as I know I am not being selfish I am being sacrificial martyr!
The selfish person will never see their selfishness for what it is because they see themselves as martyrs!
Heart check, if you always see yourself as the martyr; know that your actions and attitudes are killing everybody else!
Selfishness is blind and brutal. Ask Jesus to open your eyes.